"The Smelliest Fundraiser Ever"
--Anonymous Observer of Wisconsin Politics

dan rather as seen in 1984

Well, Campers,

Panzer did get crushed. Fitzgerald is, in fact, the new leader of the Senate and Sen. Gwen Moore's reliance upon the color of her skin has actually won her a Congressional seat.

The last bit is unfortunate for a variety of reasons. The major one is she is a mean-spirited idiot. She may well end up as one of the dimmest bulbs in the US House. ...That is saying something. The other problem is the way her race trumped her other qualities. That is just too bad.

Editor's Conventional Wisdom Watch:

Mary Panzer is doomed. She'll lose the primary election to Spooky.

Fitzgerald is the next Senate Majority Leader.

Kanavas is holding Joint Finance.

Sen. Gwen Moore is (typically) relying on her credentials as a black woman to trump all other considerations in her run for the 4th CD race. Unfortunately for her, Matt Flynn has more announced support in the black community. Unfortunately for both of them, Tim Carpenter is apparently out-working them.

And Shirley Krug?...She's an idiot.

Mary Panzer.

Is she stooopid?

Yes.

Your Editor has heard that Gregg Underheim of Oshkosh will have his Chairmanship of the Assembly Health Committee pulled after the election.

He is not considered a team player.

Tanned rested and ready. 

IMAO: "Only You Can Prevent Terrorism
There are intelligence reports that more big terrorists attacks are coming to America. So what can the common man do?
Well, I now have a holster so I can conceal and carry two full-size .45's on me. If I see anything terroristy around... BANG! BANG! BANG! Everyone's dead.

I also stocked up on bacon. Bacon is to terrorists like garlic is to vampires. Also, it's tasty and good for an Atkins diet.
Of course, terrorists will probably attack with bombs. So, teach your dog to be a bomb-sniffing dog. The way to do that is to buy a bunch of bombs and keep them around your house so your dog can sniff them all the time.

Also, remember to punch hippies. That discourages terror, especially if after you punch the terrorist, you shout out, 'Hey! Any terrorists who are watching! That's what I'm going to do to you!' Terrorists don't like to be punched.
If you have any other ideas of what the average citizen can do to fight terror in America, put it in the comments section.

UPDATE: I was just thinking: What happens if the Muslim terrorists team up with the Irish terrorists? We would then have drunken suicide bombers stumbling around and blowing up in random places! We need to stop that from happening."

The Origin of the Kerry Campaign Slogan

How many rough drafts do you think the Kerry team went through to come with the campaign slogan, "Let America be America again"? It takes a lot of work to boil down an entire political platform into a single phrase of such astonishing meaninglessness. We'll give them this: It does capture the essence of Kerry's rhetorical style -- stilted, yet empty. Maybe Kerry himself provided an early version, something like, "To be sure, I would like it to be known, that who among us does not want this great country, America, to return to a state of being that country which it was and shall be again."

Of course, we heard the first version was just "Let America be France." Whatever. They both boil down to the same thing: "Let John Kerry be a Massachusetts senator again."

` 

. 

. 

Sinister Political Secret Society  

. 

From the Daily Dish: "QUOTE OF THE DAY: 'It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out where the strong man stumbled, or where a doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, and who comes up short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause. The man who at best knows the triumph of high achievement and who at worst, if he fails, fails while daring greatly, so that his place will never be with those cold timid souls who never knew victory or defeat.' - Teddy Roosevelt."

A Frank Guide to Homeland Security Alert Levels

Everyone has heard of the Homeland Security Advisory System by now and its rainbow of colors, but most are confused of exactly what it means to them about how they should act and live when it is at its different levels of alert. That's why I've decided to create this guide make things clearer to the people.

First, here is what the alert levels mean in general:
*Green (Low): All evil had been destroyed. The world is now a peaceful utopia.
*Blue (Guarded): There's still the occasional pickpocket, so show a little caution.
*Yellow (Elevated): Terror lurks in the shadows; be wary.
*Orange (High): The terrorists are out there and they are coming for YOU!
*Red (Severe): The world is exploding around you. The only law is your own gun.

Layout of West Wing of the White House