A Frank Guide to Homeland Security Alert Levels

Everyone has heard of the Homeland Security Advisory System by now and its rainbow of colors, but most are confused of exactly what it means to them about how they should act and live when it is at its different levels of alert. That's why I've decided to create this guide make things clearer to the people.

First, here is what the alert levels mean in general:
*Green (Low): All evil had been destroyed. The world is now a peaceful utopia.
*Blue (Guarded): There's still the occasional pickpocket, so show a little caution.
*Yellow (Elevated): Terror lurks in the shadows; be wary.
*Orange (High): The terrorists are out there and they are coming for YOU!
*Red (Severe): The world is exploding around you. The only law is your own gun.

Layout of West Wing of the White House

From ABC's The Note:

NEWS SUMMARY

The only way to get The Note written on time every morning is to give exquisitely precise instructions every evening to the 500 Googling monkeys working the overnight shift.

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This Editor wishes for 500 Googling monkeys.

Look at Lying in Ponds:


This site takes a statistical approach to the biases of columnists. How does Ann Coulter stack up to Paul Krugman? You can evaluate it yourself.

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From Fact Check:

See the Daniel Patrick Moynihan quote on the main page: "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts."

Fact check is reviewing all election year ads for accuracy..

It is worth a look.

"Anymore questions?" Rumsfeld asked, "Or do all fully understand that Iraq and France will soon be destroyed?"

From a Minnesota blogger: Frozen North

What the truly great politcal divide is this year.

From Vanity Fair: The Ways Blogging Can Ruin Your Life.

Center for Public Integrity has an interesting article on the political destruction and character assassination of Howard Dean.

Remember hearing about those Japanese soldiers fighting on in their jungle islands long after the war had ended? Apparently the instinct lives!

Banzai! Dean Troops in Wisconsin fight on.

Some insanely large portion of the electorate gets its information from comedy outlets: Leno, Letterman, the Daily Show, and the Onion.

Its good to remember that the destruction of our civilization is being overseen by Onion staff who used to work at Badger Liquor on State Street.

Onion Staff worked at Badger Liquor

Matt Pommer: Badger State loves its booze


And politicians have long been known to tour taverns and greet the seemingly captive audience. Former Gov. Tommy Thompson, who worked as a bartender in college, would quip that tavern regulars were a factor in his first election to the Legislature.

Thompson said his father gave him $10 a day to campaign. Going into a small town, Thompson explained, he would stop at a bar early in the day and buy a drink for the town drunk.

"He'd be there all day telling others what a great guy I was."

Your editor has enjoyed the works of author Orson Scott Card for years. Aside from novels he also apparently writes insightful political and cultural pieces.

This timely piece, for example, is about the recent Mass. Supreme Court decision.

It begins:

Civilization Watch --

By Orson Scott Card February 15, 2004

Humpty Dumpty Logic

A little dialogue from Lewis Carroll:

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."

"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."

"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master -- that's all."

The Massachusetts Supreme Court has not yet declared that "day" shall now be construed to include that which was formerly known as "night," but it might as well.

Campaign finance reform laws are the biggest con ever pulled on the nation.

They take as their presumption that speech is dangerous and must be curtailed. It is a "Big Lie" behind which elected officials hide their endless efforts to make themselves immune from defeat at the polls, while at the same time being viewed by left-liberals and self-interested newspaper editorialists as saintly "reformers".

Here is a beautifully argued piece that discusses that flim-flam flummery:


George F. Will: McCain-Feingold pollutes free speech

From Charlie Sykes, In the column he describes the problem of RINOs:


Panzer, RINOs, and TABOR

"But the real problem may be the RINOs.

RINO is an acronym for 'Republicans In Name Only.'

Last Sunday, the Journal Sentinel reported that a handful of RINOs -- Reps. Gregg Underheim (R-Oshkosh) and Michael Lehman (R-Hartford)- were staging a "mini-revolt" over the idea of a spending cap.

Lehmann is reported "to oppose any constitutional amendment that would limit state and local spending."

Underheim complains "There's this assumption out there that there is wanton waste and abuse and fraud in local government. That simply isn't true."

Somebody should give him a bus ticket to Milwaukee. We could show him around."

Your editor found a link on the front page at Slate that read:

"WHY YOU LEMMINGS WILL VOTE FOR KERRY"


It leads to an interesting article that examines why:

"Barring a miraculous comeback by Sen. John Edwards, Sen. John Kerry will win the Democratic presidential nomination-despite the fact that most Democratic voters know little about him and don't like him very much."

Bush begins his campaign.

In this transcript you will find the themes of his re-election campaign.

"I'll be in the bar."

The Willard Hotel is famous for having a lobby which runs an entire city block down the middle of the building. It is one block from the White House and, the story goes, in the 1860's people would wait in the lobby for senior Administration officials to happen by and would accost them with one request or another.

From this came the term, "Lobbyist."

From the great Ober Dicta:

Rumsfeld Fighting Technique


In return we send out to Ober Dicta:

''Skydiver lands on beer vendor at women's cole-slaw wrestling event.''

(thank you Dave Barry)

Holy Cow!!!:

Nader to Jump in Presidential Race

-- courtesy of Fox News

This wasn't in Wisconsin, but it should have been:

Woman Fined for Registering Cows As Voters

Feb 19, 9:50 AM (ET)

LONDON (AP) - Brenda Gould is in trouble again for registering her cows as voters.

For the second year running, the woman from Newmarket, near Cambridge in eastern England, has listed two names on the registration form who turned out to be cows, East Cambridgeshire District Council said Thursday.

The previous year, in addition to registering two cows as "Henry and Sophie Bull," she listed "Jake Woofles," later found to be a dog, as eligible to vote in local government elections, the council said.