A Frank Guide to Homeland Security Alert Levels

Everyone has heard of the Homeland Security Advisory System by now and its rainbow of colors, but most are confused of exactly what it means to them about how they should act and live when it is at its different levels of alert. That's why I've decided to create this guide make things clearer to the people.

First, here is what the alert levels mean in general:
*Green (Low): All evil had been destroyed. The world is now a peaceful utopia.
*Blue (Guarded): There's still the occasional pickpocket, so show a little caution.
*Yellow (Elevated): Terror lurks in the shadows; be wary.
*Orange (High): The terrorists are out there and they are coming for YOU!
*Red (Severe): The world is exploding around you. The only law is your own gun.

Layout of West Wing of the White House

From ABC's The Note:

NEWS SUMMARY

The only way to get The Note written on time every morning is to give exquisitely precise instructions every evening to the 500 Googling monkeys working the overnight shift.

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This Editor wishes for 500 Googling monkeys.

Look at Lying in Ponds:


This site takes a statistical approach to the biases of columnists. How does Ann Coulter stack up to Paul Krugman? You can evaluate it yourself.

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From Fact Check:

See the Daniel Patrick Moynihan quote on the main page: "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts."

Fact check is reviewing all election year ads for accuracy..

It is worth a look.

"Anymore questions?" Rumsfeld asked, "Or do all fully understand that Iraq and France will soon be destroyed?"

From a Minnesota blogger: Frozen North

What the truly great politcal divide is this year.

From Vanity Fair: The Ways Blogging Can Ruin Your Life.

Center for Public Integrity has an interesting article on the political destruction and character assassination of Howard Dean.

Remember hearing about those Japanese soldiers fighting on in their jungle islands long after the war had ended? Apparently the instinct lives!

Banzai! Dean Troops in Wisconsin fight on.

Some insanely large portion of the electorate gets its information from comedy outlets: Leno, Letterman, the Daily Show, and the Onion.

Its good to remember that the destruction of our civilization is being overseen by Onion staff who used to work at Badger Liquor on State Street.

Onion Staff worked at Badger Liquor

Matt Pommer: Badger State loves its booze


And politicians have long been known to tour taverns and greet the seemingly captive audience. Former Gov. Tommy Thompson, who worked as a bartender in college, would quip that tavern regulars were a factor in his first election to the Legislature.

Thompson said his father gave him $10 a day to campaign. Going into a small town, Thompson explained, he would stop at a bar early in the day and buy a drink for the town drunk.

"He'd be there all day telling others what a great guy I was."